In the run up to leaving work, I had the grand ambition of writing this blog periodically from day one. Well, it’s almost exactly 6 months since I left as I write this, so I’ve not stuck to my plan so far.

Why is this? Perhaps I’ll answer this in a roundabout sort of way and answer ‘how’s it going so far?’. A couple of thoughts spring to mind:

1. Time sort of just ‘goes’. It takes a huge effort to be very deliberate with your time as I feel as if I have plenty of it (which just isn’t the case).
2. I feel like I’m at an all-you-can-eat buffet for the first time, with far too much choice in front of me and want to stuff as much in my mouth as is possible. Putting it differently, I am developing lots of interests but haven’t developed the discipline to do one or two at a time, and therefore feel frustrated with myself that I haven’t ‘achieved’ anything yet.

Of course its not about ‘achieving’ anything – its all about filling my time with interesting and fulfilling past-times, but the point is that I need to create a better structure to make the most of things.

If I compare my position back to Riley Moynes’ 4 Phases of Retirement (described briefly in blog #2), one thing I’ve realised is that its possible to be in multiple phases simultaneously. I’ve certainly hit holidays hard (phase 1) and am continuing to plan holidays up to 12 months out; I do feel that sense of ‘loss’ or ‘identity’ that comes with not having a label or business card (phase 2); and I also am experimenting with ‘what’s next’ (phase 3).

The loss of identity is a difficult one as this does lead you along a dark path of ‘I’m useless’ or ‘I’m not worthy’ but its helpful to recognise that this is to be expected, but also to know there is a path out of it should I choose to take it, namely keep plugging away on phase 3. To me, phase 3 is probably the most important phase of retirement as its the point where I can take control of my own destiny. More of how I’m embracing phase 3 to come.